Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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