I'm jealous of your bromance
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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