I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
