Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
