All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize