You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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