You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
