I wish my penis had an off switch
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
