i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I deserve this hangover.
Randomize
