so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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