How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
