4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Randomize
