If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
