You made me cry and you don't even care
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Randomize
