He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
