that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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