i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize
