Sacagawea was the original milf.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize