So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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