Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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