It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
