I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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