dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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