she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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