I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
