i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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