He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
