he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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