And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
