Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
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