I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
You need Xanax blowdarts
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
