How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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