Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
