K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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