Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
he fucked my hip out of place.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
