You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
