i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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