I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
