Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
