come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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