When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
