I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
this is an emotional support booty call
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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