Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Randomize
