We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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