i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Randomize
