she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
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