she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
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