Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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