one two three fourrrrnication!
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
You are the jesus of drinking
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize