Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
