I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
