ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
