nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
We need to rekindle our bromance
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
