Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
