We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
