you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
