If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
What a dumb baby whore.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
