I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
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