I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
