rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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