So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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