i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
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