Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I think my moral compass just broke
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