imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
